Allow me to talk about me for a minute here. Thursday morning, it was a little cool and of little comfort for which humidity is to blame. That morning getting on the city bus my mother gestured for me to step onto the bus and look inward supposedly for someone I would know (mother has a habit of pointing out people I don't know, don't remember, or don't care about for my past, her past or our shared past). Today on the bus she pointed out my predecessor: my biological father.
Oh, great. Was she expecting a Jerry Springer/Maury moment? I looked at him then proceeded to the back of the bus where I's and Ms. Johnson talked 'bout this new civil rights movement goin' on. But I doubled back into the seat across from his while mother sat in front of him. They were talking the whole ride into Downtown.
What could I say to the man, I felt nothing but an inkling of respect for him since my mom told me that he said he'd rather stay completely away instead of being in and out of my life knowing he didn't have the resources to help me in anyway. I respect people that know their limits instead of exceeding them to damaging dangerous levels. Besides I was never one to seek out father figures, if anything, I outright rejected wannabe-daddies. It has always been mother (first in command), I (second in command), my lil brother (third in command) and baby sis (private spoiled brat). I was and AM the pillar and glue of this highly dysfunctional family, who needs a father figure or a father? I am the most independent soul most people have ever met and now that I have evolved from boy to man, is a father (figure) important or necessary? Or wanted?
After we got off the bus he talked to me about "could me call me?" Sure, why not? Then I went to work. The end.
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