Tuesday 4/3/07--

For those of you that don't know the article on me finally came out. It was NOT in the business section of the newspaper as I was lead to believe but on the front page. Needless to say the boss was excited as was I. The director of marketing -Danny Hewitt (go ogle it)- for the company called me personally to congrats me. My mother brought 6 newspapers that day alone.

That day I also received a job from the city for an ambassador for the city.

Wed 4/4/07--

I think that the fame is getting to me. No. It IS getting to me. Well, for one, I'm becoming more arrogant (if that's possible). But not only that I have for the past few weeks have been falling in and out of my depression. MY extrovert shell has been cracking for weeks and I think maybe it's starting to crumble. No, correction. It is starting to crumble and the popularity is not helping. The passion for the job is gone or at least warning. As an introvert I need passion to do any job and do it well. But now the fire in my belly is but dimly glowing embers with whispers of flames. You see, extroverts, my passion was the fact that every time I went out on to that corner everyday I was fighting for attention and in the process I've developed a cultish following of fans. A small following that appreciated me. But the article did my job for me; better even! My following has grown beyond the point of "small" to "Oh my!" kinda big. Everywhere I looked their were eyes watching, waiting for my next move, my next twitch. More eyes. New eyes. Watching me was making me insecure and self-conscious. I didn't for hours opting to stand still. A fan stopped to give me a speech about how I had to perform for the people because they have come to expect it. Ppssh! I hate those extra-extroverts. As an introvert I'm happier behind a desk. I took this job because I was broke. I treated it like all my other jobs: do my best; be the best at what ever I do. I also saw this job as an experiment to it's effects upon my personality. Dangerous I know but I was broke, so either see the job as an experiment or die of hunger or hustle (you know what I mean).

I have done the best I could on the this job, maybe I was too good. As such the price for my hard work is more pressure to do something that already takes majority of my mental fortitude to accomplish. I have no more or too little to give you extroverts may never understand this. But without that passion I may quit even through there are two more weeks of this left. But still no passion so I can't do this job with the energy I once had.          

You're like me. I'm real low-key...don't like much attention. I think that's one of the reasons there aren't pics of me all over the internet with the indie thing. But, unfortunately that's going to have to change soon. And then locals will know who I am. I don't like being watched. The most important thing is that when you do a job you give it your all and do it well. And that's what you'll be remembered for (well atleast that's what you're supposed to be remembered for). Most of the jobs I've worked at in the past and left...they all have said the same thing...that they would hire me back. When you leave a job and that is said to you then you know you've accomplished something in your life. A cult following is only as good as the leader, obviously you're a dynamite leader since your following has grown...carry that leadership skill onto your next job.

You want some ugly pics huh...lol...not getting any from me...those will go in the trash.

Hi GS

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Have a super day !

4.18.07 @ 9:19 PM